Before I was married, I sometimes imagined being married – to someone exactly like me. That’s what a soul mate is anyway, right? I would often think things like this (best read like Jimmy Fallon’s “Sara” character):
“Wall plah myahsak (ahspaciahllay sahngang duahts ehn chahrch togahthahr), nahvar AHVAR fahght, gah dahnsahng a LAHT, raehd mahrrahge bohks togahthahr, ahnd cahddahl ehvrahy dahy!”*
Mere weeks, maybe even days into our marriage, I realized this would not be the case. In fact, in the first few months of marriage I thought I had made a mistake. I wanted a re-do. Reality was not matching my dreams and I was disappointed.
Thankfully, I talked to God about all this, and like He so often does, He started crafting His own story for us. My mind has since changed about wanting a re-do, but in honor of our anniversary, I’d like to tell you why I’m sure Michael Lastfogel is the wrong man for me:
He does not let me nurse insecurities.
There are many things I feel I’m not good at, and that makes me not want to do them. He doesn’t accept that logic for a second. He pushes me to face my weaknesses and inner conflicts with truth and grace as he champions my confidence. I am more comfortable not addressing those things. However, I’ve now faced things I never thought I could, and that sure seems like progress to me.
He travels the path less taken.
Sometimes we drive by some undisturbed expanse of nature and he says, “There’s some good adventures in there.” His heart bleeds for the uncharted path, the unexplored waters and calculated risk. Mine bleeds bug spray, sunscreen and the clearly marked (preferably paved) trail. While I would have been perfectly content to marry someone who would sit with me on the shore, I’m thankful to have dipped a toe in some waters here and there that I might not have otherwise ventured into.
He’s all about the details.
I used to be sentimental but the older I’ve gotten, I’ve become content to focus more on necessity; “fluff” = unnecessary. In Michael’s world, meaning makes moments leading to memories. Every card and gift is well thought out. He gives gifts when I would not have thought to. It’s easy to be practical rather than thoughtful, but he has made me value opportunities to care for others and make them feel special. It has helped me put others first, and sometimes lavishly so.
I could go on about the ways Michael has changed my life. As I celebrate our life together today, I am thankful that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. Things I might not have chosen for myself, God brought to me for my growth and sanctification so that I would look more like Him. May the next five years be even more full of His goodness and grace!
*We’ll play music (especially singing duets in church together), never EVER fight, go dancing a LOT, read marriage books together, and cuddle every day!